Positive thinking against the pain
November 20, 2009 at 3:03 pm | Posted in Selfesteem, Selfhelp, Stress | Leave a commentHello, today I will describe my progress of boosting my self-esteem. I should say that the morning was not so good for me, and especially after the dinner I felt not good. My stomach pain makes me feel totally miserable. Probably quite much girls and woman feel in the same way on ‘’these days’’. I remember some years ago, sometimes I need to take only 2-3 pills of painkillers per year. I was not feeling extreme well; however, it was not so bad as well. Everything changed last year. Every time I had the menstruation pain. I couldn’t survive without painkillers. One time I drink even 4 pills. Normally I am trying to avoid all medicines, and really without a reason I don’t drink any pill. I noticed that the hardest days were during my exams session. It means that the menstruation pain is related with the stress. One day I read a book about the power of positive thinking. Next time, when I start feeling not well, I decided to try some techniques from the book. I didn’t have anything to lose. I describe main tips how to work with it in my post: “A power of the positive thinking or how to deal with depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low self-esteem”. I forgot to mention that positive thinking could be a good medicine against a pain.
I didn’t have an opportunity to lie or be in the calm place. I just start to think that my belly feels warm. (Normally when it feels warm it helps). The belly really got warm…then I start repeating that my belly feels good. (Important: Don’t repeat that “I don’t feel pain anymore”, because then you concentrate your attention to the word pain). I was repeating until it felt good. Then I start to repeat that I feel good in general: physically and mentally. It was the first time in during all year, when I didn’t need to drink any pill. Today, I tried the same technique and I felt better. I really hope that I won’t need medicine this time also.
How it is related with self-esteem? I think when you feel good physically you feel more self-confident. Also this example proved that a positive thinking really works, after 5 minutes I already could see a result of it.
3 main tips to boost your self-esteem
November 19, 2009 at 11:39 am | Posted in Selfesteem | Leave a commentHello, one more time. I posted two articles which are related with self-esteem. One of them “How to get rid of depressed mood and feel happy about you” is about actions. Change the way you act and you will change your life. Other one is “A power of the positive thinking or how to deal with depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low self-esteem. “ The main idea is that you need to change the way of thinking and then you can change your life.
Today I am going to talk about visualization. It is a bit similar to positive thinking, but now it is important to visualize ideas in your mind. The best way to do it is when you are totally relaxed and with an empty stomach. It is better to choose a calm, nice place that you won’t be distracted. For example I am afraid of public speech. I am afraid that I will fail against a very big auditory. Now I will go lie in my bed and try to imagine a different scenario. That I come to auditory and I feel confident, and I am well-prepared. An audience liked my speech and I hear applauses. It is better to make the good film in your head and try to repeat it until you are truly sure that it is the truth. Imagine every detail: the faces of the people, colors and so on. As more realistic it is as better it is.
The technique is not everything. This blog is a self-help blog and the main goal is to help people to help themselves. I am going to give myself one month time starting from today. I will try to use these techniques, combine them and describe my progress in this blog. The main goal of it is to feel more self-confident and get rid of a stress and a fear.
A power of the positive thinking or how to deal with depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low self-esteem
November 18, 2009 at 11:45 am | Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Selfesteem, Selfhelp, Stress | 2 CommentsThe way we think influences our life. In order to understand better the power of positive thinking, let’s analyze the self-talk. Self-talk is the way we communicate with ourselves. How it works?
- We experience external events
- We interpret them and have a self-talk
- We get some feelings and react according situation
It is important to understand the order of this. Imagine you are sitting in the room, and outside is raining very hard. One person could feel happy about it, and understand this situation as a possibility to get some rest and relax. Other person will complain about situation, because he/she cannot go out and have fun. The situation is the same, but the way we think influence our reactions and feelings.
There are 4 types of negative thinking, which could cause these 4 problems: depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low-self esteem.
- The victim thinking makes us depressed. If you catch yourself thinking “I can’t. I can never do it. I am too weak. I could make it 5 years ago, but not now’’. You make yourself depressed.
- The worries promote anxiety. Let’s say you think like “What if I fail, What if they see me when I am so worried”
- Perfectionism promotes stress and burnout “I should be the best in the class”, “I have to make the perfect presentation”
- The critic thinking makes us feel not self-confident. Normally it is our parents’ voice inside us, or someone else who was critical to us “You are stupid. You cannot understand it. You cannot make it ”
It is possible to make an inside evaluation, and find out which of these voices are strongest. However it is important to deal with negative thinking and the best way to do it is to replace it with the positive thinking. There are some basic rules which can help:
- Avoid negatives. Instead of “I won’t be late this time” think “I will be in time” or even better just create an image in your mind that you are coming to the place in time.
- Make the sentences in the present time, not in the future. Replace “I will feel better soon” into “I feel better now”
- You are talking about yourself so it is better to make sentences with “I’’, or at least to refer to ‘’I’’.
- It is important to believe in what you are saying. Let’s say if you what to deal with you critical voice inside you. You can tell for yourself “I am OK person”. “I am worth that other people respect me”. There is no an exaggeration and it is not hard to believe in what you are telling for yourself.
How to get rid of the depressed mood and feel happy about you.
November 17, 2009 at 9:16 am | Posted in Selfhelp | 1 CommentI was thinking why some people are successful and why some people are not. I decided to analyses my own life and I 
found a moment when I was really successful. It was at school in the last grade. I was not learning very carefully and much…because I was lazy. Yes, it is the truth and it is important to admit it, because an admission is the first step to improve you. I remember that there was one program on the internet which could help to predict results. I really enjoy using it, but only for the subjects I know well. However once I tired other one…I think that I was acting “good” when I was not checking. The result was more than disappointing. After some time at school I wrote another test and the result was even worth. However I didn’t cried, ad I didn’t tell about it for anyone, I just straightly went to the bookshop and start learning immediately. I faced situation “now or never”. I understood that from this moment I need to learn. I had only one goal, which was so important. It is not only hard exams. The results of the exams could turn your life to the better or worth direction. It was very important. I was strict for my lazy behavior. This is the list from the action plan I made:
- I need to start learning from now!
- Not after one minute, not after the rest, not after the eating (don’t get me wrong, it is important to eat, but it can consume lots of time) and definitely not from Monday.
- I made a strict plan of the thinks I need to learn.
I won’t lie. It was not easy…actually it was very hard. I was learning the subject which I hate the most, but I understood that I have to. The first three days were the hardest. I remember the first Sunday…I woke up unusually very early and I was learning totally all day. I didn’t give me (Fortunately!) any useless break. Believe me it is totally not necessary. The perfect break is just dinner, or going to the toilet. Also I was watching TV in foreign language I was learning. I don’t know if you had such situation that weekend is gone, but you didn’t do anything useful. I remember my class friends were talking about it on Monday. However it was not my situation anymore. I was happy. I start even like it after one week and a bit. I remember that I just felt good in general. I start dreaming nice dreams. Do you want to know the result? I past all exams very good, even these two which I didn’t like so much.
I just want to say instead of using self-help books, or going to seminars, psychotherapists, we can look to our past and probably we will find moments when we was happy about ourselves. I think it is useful to analyze situation and the reasons which cause such a good opinion about us. I was happy about myself because I made a right choice between fun things now; however it is totally not useful in future and actually in the long-term they make me unhappy. My choice was to learn hard…which is not so fun in the beginning, but which make me so happy about myself. On the other hand it is not enough to choice it is important to act according your choice. I was strict about myself; however I think I wouldn’t successes without that. I wish you good luck in your choice making!
Boosting self-esteem in 3 simple steps
November 16, 2009 at 2:53 pm | Posted in Selfesteem | Leave a comment
The basic idea in order to build your self-esteem is to understand your needs, and then do something in order to meet them. It means that first to all you should just care about yourself. You can just relax and think. What I want from this life? What are my dreams? Caring about yourself is the most important thing which will help you to boost your self-esteem.
Some causes of low self-esteem
- Too much critical parent: It can be that your parents criticize you and now you feel that you can never full fill their needs.
- Significant Childhood lost. Maybe your parents divorced or something else had happened. You felt abandon and lonely. That’s why you feel addicted to particular person, food, alcohol and so on.
- Too much care of your parents is also not so good, because you can start to think that the world is dangerous place, so you are afraid.
Maybe you can recognize what kind of reasons caused you low self-esteem. You can find them even more. However it doesn’t mean that you need to blame you parents, because probably they gave you the best what they could.
There are 3 main steps which help to gain self-esteem
- Get to know your needs and meet them
- Start to communicate with your “inner child”. Everybody have it. He/she is creative, but sensitive part of ourselves.
- Making small steps every day in order to satisfy your needs.
Caring about you means to take care about an inner child. You can do that by being a good parent for yourself. It is important to learn how to be a good parent for yourself. There are some small tips what you can do about it:
- Take a warm bath
- Have special breakfast in bed
- Enjoy massage
- Walk in the park
- Relax with the book or music
- Watch sunrise and sunset
- Dance by your favorite music
- Make a special dinner
- Talk with the good friend
- Write for yourself love letter
- Visit some interesting places like museum or zoo
- Play with the puzzle
- Write an ideal scenario for you goal
- Write a letter to your old friend
- Write a diary about your achievements
- Exercise
The next step would be to find out what you really want from this life. The easiest way to do that just ask you inner child. You can write a nice latter for her/him, or just try to think about what you was dreaming about in your childhood.
The last but not the least step is to do something in order to meet you needs. Do you like dancing, but you never tried to dance. It is the right time to sign up in dancing classes.
Everything looks even simpler then I thought, however I believe that idea behind this three steps is worth to try.
Advantages of the bad mood
November 9, 2009 at 2:20 pm | Posted in Mood | Leave a commentIt is a strange title, because people used to think that bad mood don’t have any advantage! However I think it has. One day I was in bad mood, I was really sad. I was pity about myself. I couldn’t look positive to the future, but I want to have a nice future. Then I start thinking. Ok, girl, so what the bad mood gives to you? And I found some advantages of the bad mood:
- I can complain as much as I want
- I can be sad about myself.
- I can find an excuse for everything, simply because I am in the bad mood.
- I don’t need to do anything…because I am thinking pessimistic and anyway the result will be bad.
The main thing is that the depressed mood gives you lots of excuse of not doing thinks, which will help you to make your dream come truth. It gives you an opportunity to just lie on the sofa and think pessimistic. However it takes away the chance from you to change your life.
So I did one step forward. I decided that I am not going to complain about some difficult situations, but I am going to rethink my behavior and how I can change it to the better side. I know it is quite difficult, because I take the responsibility about myself. It is easier to be just sad. However everybody has some kind of dreams about the future, I am not an exception. I know if I don’t change the way I think I won’t reach my goal. It is very good motivation to get rid of the bad mood.
How motivation is related with inspiration?
November 6, 2009 at 4:07 pm | Posted in Motivation | Leave a comment
It is the good question. I think the first of all we are motivated to do something and then we are searching some kind of an inspiration. Sometimes things which inspire us are simple and together a bit strange. Yesterday I was not feeling very well. However I was constantly attacked by ideas of the good articles. I was just marking them and finally I posted two posts, then I was searching a nice photo, which could be good for this article Tips for dealing with an internet addiction and finally I found. After while I decided to reread my article, and I couldn’t stop looking to the picture. It is so beautiful! Blue sky and the shiny beam in it took my all attention. So I decided to put the photo on my desktop. It is funny, but this picture raises my mood immediately. It is of course very beautiful. I think I was affected by the fact that it was made by my good friend also. She is far away from me and I missed her very much.
Today I spend two hours on writing one article, but I was not satisfied with it and I didn’t post it. The problem was that I could write very good one, but yesterday, not today. I think it is very important to do everything in the right time. So next time I will wait for the right moment and a good inspiration in order to post something nice.
Tips for dealing with an internet addiction
November 5, 2009 at 12:11 pm | Posted in Addiction | Leave a comment
As I promised in the previous post, I will write about my behavior, which is not so good. Probably you know people who are addicted to food, smoking, drinking, coffee, cola and so on. I don’t have any of these kinds of addictions, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have any addiction at all. However I think I had one addiction. It was hard to realize that it is an addiction, because in the beginning it could look that it is not so bad. So what I am talking about?
I like to read news. Normally it is 2-3 web pages which I used to read every day. Do you think it is not so bad? I will prove some facts, which helped me to realize that it is not such a small problem. I understood it when my computer start working not good, so I need to record an important information to DVD and work with the projects of my university. I didn’t know how long my computer will still work. However every time I want to work on these important thinks, I was reading articles or just watching videos in youtube. Ok, not all articles are useless, I think about 30% of all the stuff I read or watch is useful.
- World news about economy, politics
- Articles about psychology
- Articles about interesting and new trends for ex: row food, sometimes I like to watch videos about cooking, because I enjoy making a good food.
- Interesting programs on television, which I watch on the internet. It is useful programs and the internet gives the possibility to skip advertising breaks, so it saves time.
However about 70% is just the time-wasting. So what I am doing?
- Sometimes I read articles about who kissed who and such kind of stuff. It is useless.
- I noticed that I look again and again to the same page, because maybe there is a new article posted.
- I just start to read an article (or watch video) and then read all the other articles which are related with this one.
- And the most important: Instead of doing what I really need to do, I am avoiding it.
- Also I already spend almost all day with the computer and even I spent my free time on it!
So it is not just a small addiction. So let’s analyze this situation. In order to do that I will answer to these questions:
- When I read this news? I read it when I am not in the good mood, or I am tired, or when I don’t want to do what I have to do.
- How I feel after this long wasting of time? I feel guilty and sad, that I didn’t do what I want to do, but also I found an excuse because also I get to know some useful information.
So I decided that I want to get rid of this bad habit. There is an action plan:
- Before I will start to read any news I will make a list of the subjects I want to read. (I will put it on the wall nearby computer that I could always see what I was planning to do)
- I will set the time limit for such news reading.
- I will search new web pages which write only about particular theme, it will help me to avoid reading something which is not related with it.
- I will read only when I am finished with the priority tasks. I will set the goal for each task, and if I didn’t reach it, I won’t read news.
I will keep on doing that, starting from today. I hope the results will surprise me 
Food which boost you mood or how to become more energetic in 3 days
November 5, 2009 at 10:05 am | Posted in Selfesteem | Leave a comment
I was writing in this blog for some days. But it doesn’t mean that I was not working or thinking about the possible themes which would be interesting to write and interesting to read for you. So I was continuing my experiment. I noticed these thinks:
- If you want long-term results, it is not enough to put efforts for 7 days in order to boost your self-esteem. So I decided to continue my experiment longer.
- During my experiment, I noticed, something what is not so good about me, and I need to improve it. (I will write about it in more details in other post)
As I said I tried some tips, which will help me to boost my self-esteem. One of them was to change my diet, and to eat the food, which improves the mood. I thought, it could be interesting to try, especially when in some articles it was written that good diet helps to deal with the depression as well. I start from Monday, so today is the 4th day of an experiment. There is my diet:
- Breakfast: Every time I was eating 1 or 2 fruits (banana, orange or apple) and then corn flakes with pure chocolate. Maybe it is not very healthy, but I was not feeling hungry till the midday.
- Dinner: One time I was eating vegetables (which is half-baked) and other two times vegetable soup with the piece of bread and again some fruits or nuts.
- Supper: I was eating only raw or half-baked vegetables and a bit of rice, also nuts and fruits again.
I didn’t think that the food can affect your mood in such way. I feel much more energetic. Let’s say it is not hard for to wake up in early morning. Today I woke up even earlier then my alarm clock (It was half past 7) and I went to sleep only at 1 a.m. Normally I like to sleep long. Also I was not feeling tired in the evenings. On the other hand there is one disadvantage. Due to I change my diet, I need to go more times to the toilet. However it is not bad, because it means that my stomach is working well, but sometimes it could be a bit annoying. However I am happy with the results, and I will try to continue. 
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