Epsychologist's Blog » Selfhelp

Positive thinking against the pain

epsychologist — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:03:57 +0000

Hello, today I will describe my progress of boosting my self-esteem. I should say that the morning was not so good for me, and especially after the dinner I felt not good. My stomach pain makes me feel totally miserable. Probably quite much girls and woman feel in the same way on ‘’these days’’. I remember some years ago, sometimes I need to take only 2-3 pills of painkillers per year. I was not feeling extreme well; however, it was not so bad as well. Everything changed last year. Every time I had the menstruation pain. I couldn’t survive without painkillers. One time I drink even 4 pills. Normally I am trying to avoid all medicines, and really without a reason I don’t drink any pill. I noticed that the hardest days were during my exams session. It means that the menstruation pain is related with the stress. One day I read a book about the power of positive thinking. Next time, when I start feeling not well, I decided to try some techniques from the book. I didn’t have anything to lose. I describe main tips how to work with it in my post: “A power of the positive thinking or how to deal with depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low self-esteem”. I forgot to mention that positive thinking could be a good medicine against a pain.

I didn’t have an opportunity to lie or be in the calm place. I just start to think that my belly feels warm. (Normally when it feels warm it helps). The belly really got warm…then I start repeating that my belly feels good. (Important: Don’t repeat that “I don’t feel pain anymore”, because then you concentrate your attention to the word pain). I was repeating until it felt good. Then I start to repeat that I feel good in general: physically and mentally. It was the first time in during all year, when I didn’t need to drink any pill. Today, I tried the same technique and I felt better. I really hope that I won’t need medicine this time also.

How it is related with self-esteem? I think when you feel good physically you feel more self-confident. Also this example proved that a positive thinking really works, after 5 minutes I already could see a result of it.

A power of the positive thinking or how to deal with depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low self-esteem

epsychologist — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:45:31 +0000

The way we think influences our life. In order to understand better the power of positive thinking, let’s analyze the self-talk. Self-talk is the way we communicate with ourselves. How it works?

We experience external events
We interpret them and have a self-talk
We get some feelings and react according situation

It is important to understand the order of this. Imagine you are sitting in the room, and outside is raining very hard. One person could feel happy about it, and understand this situation as a possibility to get some rest and relax. Other person will complain about situation, because he/she cannot go out and have fun. The situation is the same, but the way we think influence our reactions and feelings.

There are 4 types of negative thinking, which could cause these 4 problems: depression, anxiety, perfectionism and low-self esteem.

The victim thinking makes us depressed. If you catch yourself thinking “I can’t. I can never do it. I am too weak. I could make it 5 years ago, but not now’’. You make yourself depressed.
The worries promote anxiety. Let’s say you think like “What if I fail, What if they see me when I am so worried”
Perfectionism promotes stress and burnout “I should be the best in the class”, “I have to make the perfect presentation”
The critic thinking makes us feel not self-confident. Normally it is our parents’ voice inside us, or someone else who was critical to us “You are stupid. You cannot understand it. You cannot make it ”

It is possible to make an inside evaluation, and find out which of these voices are strongest. However it is important to deal with negative thinking and the best way to do it is to replace it with the positive thinking. There are some basic rules which can help:

Avoid negatives. Instead of “I won’t be late this time” think “I will be in time” or even better just create an image in your mind that you are coming to the place in time.
Make the sentences in the present time, not in the future. Replace “I will feel better soon” into “I feel better now”
You are talking about yourself so it is better to make sentences with “I’’, or at least to refer to ‘’I’’.
It is important to believe in what you are saying. Let’s say if you what to deal with you critical voice inside you. You can tell for yourself “I am OK person”. “I am worth that other people respect me”. There is no an exaggeration and it is not hard to believe in what you are telling for yourself.

How to get rid of the depressed mood and feel happy about you.

epsychologist — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:16:48 +0000

I was thinking why some people are successful and why some people are not. I decided to analyses my own life and I found a moment when I was really successful. It was at school in the last grade. I was not learning very carefully and much…because I was lazy. Yes, it is the truth and it is important to admit it, because an admission is the first step to improve you. I remember that there was one program on the internet which could help to predict results. I really enjoy using it, but only for the subjects I know well. However once I tired other one…I think that I was acting “good” when I was not checking. The result was more than disappointing. After some time at school I wrote another test and the result was even worth. However I didn’t cried, ad I didn’t tell about it for anyone, I just straightly went to the bookshop and start learning immediately. I faced situation “now or never”. I understood that from this moment I need to learn. I had only one goal, which was so important. It is not only hard exams. The results of the exams could turn your life to the better or worth direction. It was very important. I was strict for my lazy behavior. This is the list from the action plan I made:

I need to start learning from now!
Not after one minute, not after the rest, not after the eating (don’t get me wrong, it is important to eat, but it can consume lots of time) and definitely not from Monday.
I made a strict plan of the thinks I need to learn.

I won’t lie. It was not easy…actually it was very hard. I was learning the subject which I hate the most, but I understood that I have to. The first three days were the hardest. I remember the first Sunday…I woke up unusually very early and I was learning totally all day. I didn’t give me (Fortunately!) any useless break. Believe me it is totally not necessary. The perfect break is just dinner, or going to the toilet. Also I was watching TV in foreign language I was learning. I don’t know if you had such situation that weekend is gone, but you didn’t do anything useful. I remember my class friends were talking about it on Monday. However it was not my situation anymore. I was happy. I start even like it after one week and a bit. I remember that I just felt good in general. I start dreaming nice dreams. Do you want to know the result? I past all exams very good, even these two which I didn’t like so much.

I just want to say instead of using self-help books, or going to seminars, psychotherapists, we can look to our past and probably we will find moments when we was happy about ourselves. I think it is useful to analyze situation and the reasons which cause such a good opinion about us. I was happy about myself because I made a right choice between fun things now; however it is totally not useful in future and actually in the long-term they make me unhappy. My choice was to learn hard…which is not so fun in the beginning, but which make me so happy about myself. On the other hand it is not enough to choice it is important to act according your choice. I was strict about myself; however I think I wouldn’t successes without that. I wish you good luck in your choice making!

Question

epsychologist — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:55:58 +0000

What is Selfhelp?

epsychologist — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:16:26 +0000

How we can help for ourselves?